deep thoughts

For years now I have been like a sponge, soaking in as much information on beliefs and religion as I can. It's an unexplainable urge to watch, read, and look up anything and everything that crosses my mind. I don't really know why. I'm not a fanatic. Neither do I go around converting people or trying to impose my viewpoint. It just seems like there is some drive in me to look into it all. The thing is, I can't help but wonder why. Why this desire?
My parents are of different beliefs. My mom's side is Lutheran and my dad's side is Baptist. I grew up going to a wide variety of churches with family and friends; everything from Catholic,Baptist, Presbyterian, and more. I was exposed to all kinds. When I married, I married into Baptist. Yet, none of these seem to "sit" with me. I am not a church-goer, and I have no plans to go at this point. For me, I think this need that beats deep down inside of me, is looking for what truly resonates within my soul. As I've started unraveling what it is that fills that void, I still can not let loose of looking into things. So, I've actually sat here thinking, "Am I supposed to do something with this?" I don't know. I certainly don't like attention or debate. I don't believe in casting my own views upon others, and I pretty much cringe at evangelists.
The more I find out, some things either become clear or some things seem absolutely absurd. I hear something and look into it. Does it pan out? Does it work within the basic structure of things? When did it come into belief. Why did it? What happened? I totally go all detective on it. Then, I do nothing with all that info. Nothing at all. I just keep it to myself. I pretty much know that to share it with members of my family or people around me, would be futile. My thoughts are unlike those around me. Really, it's just kind of frustrating. To tell you the truth, sometimes I do feel like telling those close to me how I see things. Shaking them and saying, "Do you see?" Sigh....that's not right and it's not for me to say one way is any more right than another, just because it seems clear to me. Yet, the simplicity with which I see things just seems to right.
Yeah, so that's just some of my deep thoughts on that subject. I really could be all philosophical and theological. I could drone on and on explaining my perceptions, but I won't. I will end with my thought on an overall view.....going back to the basics is where it's all at.